Jonny Diaz: "More Beautiful You"

I love this song and think it pertains to my post from yesterday. I pray that it blesses you!

What Does His Addiction Say About Me?

“For you created me in my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”

—Psalm 139:13–16

During the early days of this journey, Satan will certainly throw darts at your mind and at your heart, trying to convince you of lies about yourself. Don’t believe his deception! Be on guard for his schemes. He’s sneaky; the Bible calls him the “father of lies” (John 8:44).

He may tempt you into believing that there’s something wrong with your body to have made your husband seek fulfillment through pornography. This is a lie! Your husband’s addiction has nothing to do with you and what you look like. To understand this, you must understand the nature of addictions.

Addictions are often formed as a coping mechanism for dealing with pain. Common forms of addiction are alcohol, drugs and tobacco. (Sadly, some people don’t acknowledge pornography as an addiction, but instead a form of adult entertainment that is acceptable in our progressive society.) Addictive stimulants affect a pleasure center in the brain that allows a person to relax and forget about life’s worries when the chemical stimulus is activated. Because this provides pleasure to the mind, the body craves more and more of these chemicals. The release of these chemicals in the brain reinforces the behavior. Over time, an addiction is formed because the person can’t live without the buzz of pleasure.

The truth is that your husband has used pornography to heal pain in his life. He probably had his first exposure as a teenager or pre-teen and used it during those developmental years to cope with struggles. Many men think that getting married will push pornography out of their lives because they will be able to have sexual release anytime they want through intercourse with their wives. Sadly, many men find that the addiction is stronger than their willpower and devotion to their wife.

If you don’t believe that there’s nothing wrong with you or your body, consider the many wives of sexual addicts in pop culture. Take the wife of actor David Duchovony, Tea Leoni, or Tiger Woods’ ex-wife, Elin Nordegren. Both are beautiful women with attractive physiques. Their beauty did not keep their husbands from sexual addiction because addiction is extremely powerful.

When my husband confided to a member of his bible study about his addiction, I felt ashamed. I couldn’t look that man in the eye for fear of what he’d think about me. I fell into Satan’s trap of lies as I wondered, “What will he think about me? Will he wonder why I couldn’t keep my husband satisfied and faithful?”

The truth is that this addiction is not a reflection of you. You are not to blame for your husband’s addiction to pornography. It’s not about you, really.

If you’re feeling down about your body, ask the Lord to help you. Ask Him to reveal truth to you and fill the tender pieces of your soul that are broken. Consider the source of the lies that you believe about yourself. Satan aims to kill, steal and destroy (John 10:10). Don’t let him tarnish what you know is true about yourself. Don’t believe his lies!

God planned for you to have freckles, brown eyes or a size nine shoe. He formed and fastened every part of you, from the color of your hair to the lines in your hands. Don’t allow Satan to win over your mind by allowing you to believe that God made mistakes when He created you. Don’t mock God’s creativity in forming your every part. Relish your hips, your scarred knees or the birthmark that graces your face. Take pride in who God created you to be.

While we probably all have a few areas of our bodies that we’d like to improve, like stretch marks and cellulite, we must not let these things become prey for the enemy. Acknowledge that God is your creator; meditate on how He thought only of you when He formed your body. His design is perfect.