Today is the two-year anniversary of when my husband revealed his pornography addiction to me. I'll never forget the date because the next day is my daughter's birthday (the anniversary of her birth). At the time, we were about to celebrate her first birthday.
When my husband confessed, I had such compassion on him. I prayed for him and cried with him. After that initial evening, I didn't have a lot of time to process the information and how it affected me. We celebrated my daughter's actual birthday (that year, a Friday) and then had a party on Saturday. Sunday was her dedication at church and we went out to lunch with family afterward. I kept a smiling face and held back the tears when I started to think of our conversation. I managed to skirt it to the back of my mind, until Monday.
That Monday, reality set in and I realized how much my life had changed with just one conversation. Hundreds of questions ran through my mind and I didn't process the answers well when I started to ask my husband about them. My husband said that it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of his shoulders, but I felt like he transferred it to me. I started to wonder if I really knew my husband and if our entire marriage had been a lie. It was hard to sort the lies from the truth. I began the grieving process for the marriage I thought I had.
Two years later, I am sitting in a better place, thank the Lord! By no means am I completely healed of this storm, nor is my husband or my marriage. But we are all better for it, as strange as that might sound.
Even though it doesn't seem like it at the time, confession is where the healing begins. James 5:16 says, "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective."
Here's another great video from my favorite group, Tenth Avenue North.
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